Overcoming the Lies We Tell Ourselves

lies we tell ourselves

Do you know that sometimes we lie to ourselves? Sometimes these lies have little or no consequence, but every once in a while, we tell ourselves a doozy, and the lies we tell ourselves have monumental consequences.

The thing of it is, a lot of us believe that when we accept Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior that the effects of telling lies to ourselves for a lifetime will disappear. Or, at least, we’ll no longer feel the effects. That’s why we sometimes marvel at the behavior of Christians in the church. If our sins are forgiven, why do we still act a certain way?

Overcoming the Lies We Tell Ourselves
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What are the Lies We Tell Ourselves?

The lies we tell ourselves will vary from person to person, but some of the common lies include:

  • I’m not good enough.
  • I have to be perfect. 
  • Nobody will love me (or no one loves me).
  • My past is too dirty for God to forgive me.

Can you relate? Have you ever told yourself any of these lies or any variations of them? You see, most of us struggle with seeing ourselves as God sees us because it doesn’t make sense. Why would a perfect God remove the negative things from our account and ascribe them to His innocent Son? 

We live in a world where we crave justice. We hate to see people wrongfully accused and so it doesn’t make sense to us that Jesus would willingly pay the price for a sin He didn’t commit. It may be easier trying to figure out why we lie to ourselves. 


Why do we lie to ourselves?

Let’s look at this answer purely from a spiritual aspect. (There are plenty of psychological reasons but we won’t go into that here.) I believe the answer to this question lies in Genesis 3 when sin began. Up to that point, mankind only knew the truth. They had no idea that lies were a thing because their main influencer was God.

God is truth and is incapable of lying. Then Satan, the father of lies, entered and things changed. It began with a conversation around the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil.

“Did God really say, ‘You must not eat from any tree in the garden’?” (Genesis 3:1 NKJV)

Eve didn’t know how to react. She had always accepted that the tree of the knowledge of good and evil was off-limits. Now, this serpent was trying to get her to question what she had always known as truth–she was not allowed to eat from the tree or else she’d die. Somehow, Eve managed to give the right response, at least, her version of it,

“We may eat fruit from the trees in the garden, but God did say, ‘You must not eat fruit from the tree that is in the middle of the garden, and you must not touch it, or you will die’” (Genesis 3:2-3 NIV).

But the devil wasn’t done with her,

“You will not certainly die,” the serpent said to the woman. “For God knows that when you eat from it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil” (Genesis 3:4-5 NKJV).

You will not die. A small insertion that changed the whole meaning of the phrase. The serpent came and he inserted lies where truth should have been. He tells us lies when we thought we knew the truth. He uses subtle lies to change our perception of what is true. 

And that’s where the lies we tell ourselves began. We started to lie to ourselves when the devil caused us to doubt the only One who was Truth. The devil has told so many lies to humanity we have started doing his dirty work for him–we lie to ourselves!

What do you call a person that lies to themselves? Human.  The sad thing is, most of the time, we don’t even realize we’re lying to ourselves. We fail to realize that we are believing something about ourselves that is not true. 


Counteracting the Lies We Believe

Self-deception is bad because it affects our behavior and what we think about ourselves without even realizing it. If we are going to become women who embrace our identities in Christ, we will have to learn how to counteract the lies we tell ourselves. We must learn to do this because we will not reach our full potential–or become our true selves–until we do.

How do you overcome deception?

So how do we stop telling ourselves lies? Better yet, how do we change what we believe about ourselves? The only way to stop a lie is to bury it with the truth. Where do we find Truth? In God. We overcome the enemy’s deception, even when it masquerades as self-deception, by replacing a lie with the truth. 

Let’s look back at our earlier list of common lies we tell, but this time, we’re going to counteract them with the truth.

Lie #1: I’m not good enough. 

When we tell ourselves we’re not good enough, we’re usually trying to stop ourselves from doing something that’s challenging or that will take us to the next level. For example, we may tell ourselves that we’re not good enough to apply for the position that’s available in the office. We’re not good enough to date that really nice guy. We’re not good enough to make the top grades in the class. 

This lie usually stems from fear. We’re afraid to go after what we really want because we’re afraid of failing. When this particular lie starts whispering in your ear, remind yourself that God has not given you a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline (2 Timothy 1:7 NLT).

Timidity comes with the devil and negates the gift of God which is the power of love. When the lie you tell yourself is that you’re not good enough, remind yourself that your “good enough” comes from God. Jesus fills in your empty spaces and you are complete in Him (Colossians 2:10).


Lie #2: I have to be perfect.

Most of the time when we’re believing the lie that we have to be perfect, it has nothing to do with giving glory to God. We’ve somehow convinced ourselves that our actions can control our circumstances. But striving for perfection through our own actions? That leads to error. We start to believe that because we act perfectly we are perfect. We start to believe the blood of Christ was not necessary to save us.

We counteract the lie of perfection with the truth that God tells us: all of us have sinned (Romans 3:23). If all of us have sinned, it means we are not perfect. We cannot attain perfection through our own actions or on our own merit. Since that is true, we need to turn to a perfect Savior so we can find mercy and grace.


Lie #3: I am unlovable.

This is by far the easiest lie to counteract with Scripture but it is sometimes the hardest truth to believe. God loves us so much, He sent His Son to die for our sins. You can’t get more loved than that. The Creator of the universe loved you so much He died in your place. How awesome is that? 

But the enemy of our souls lies to us. He tells us that we need to be a certain way or do certain things (this ties into the first two common lies we tell) in order for God to love us. He tells us we have to be worthy of being loved and that we can only get that worthiness through our own efforts. My friend, you’re loved because God loves you (1 John 3:1). 

God loves us so much He has adopted us into His family. When we accept Jesus’ sacrifice on our behalf, He grafts us into His family and calls us His children (1John 3:1).


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Lie #4: My past is too dirty for God to forgive me

I know exactly how you feel. I have some things in my past I wish I could wipe out. I wish I could go back in time and have a do-over. But then I think about it: my experiences made me who I am today. God worked through them to speak to my heart and draw me back to Himself. Because you see, God is capable of using even bad things for our good

Do not believe the lie that God can’t use you because of something you did in the past. Do not deceive yourself into thinking God cannot forgive you for your sins. If you confess your sins sincerely, God will forgive you (1 John 1:9). It’s just His nature and He can’t change.

The lies we tell ourselves–or the lies we believe–can have an impact on how we act and how we see ourselves; that’s why it’s important for us to have a correct view of ourselves. I saw how destructive the lies we believe could be in Texas Twin Abduction. Ashlee had internalized a lot of negative things that had been said about her when she lived a less-than-stellar lifestyle. So much so, that even after she had given her life to Christ she still believed that some of her sins were too dark to be purified by the blood of Christ.


My Review of Texas Twin Abduction

What do you do when someone is trying to kill you but you can’t remember who? Ashlee Taylor is in trouble and the only person who can help is her ex-fiance, Lawson Avery. The trouble is, she can’t remember what her problem is or anything about her past.

This was an action-packed book and the characters were well-written and engaging. I wanted to know more about their lives. I wondered along with Lawson whether he and Ashlee would reconnect even as I worried that when she regained her memory she’d want nothing to do with him.

These characters struggled with identity and purpose as so many of us do and I was glad when they were able to find healing and wholeness. Ashlee struggled to overcome her belief that she did not deserve to be loved by Lawson because of all the bad things she had done in her past.

The faith element was very prevalent and I was happy to read about characters who struggled as I do yet were able to find hope in Christ.

Know God–the faith elements in this were very strong. The female character had to accept the truth that there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ. It was hard for her to accept because her past actions had far-reaching effects.

Know yourself–this whole concept of knowing yourself was really true in this novel since one of the characters didn’t know who she was…literally! But there are things we can learn from these characters about following our instincts. Sometimes, people have an impression about who we are and this idea is communicated to us. Even worse, sometimes we believe something about ourselves that’s not true.

Run your race–Lawson was surrounded by people who had “important ” jobs that made it seem as if what he wanted to do with his life was insignificant. He had to silence those voices so he could do the job of his heart–take care of his family’s ranch.

I received an advanced reader’s copy from the publishers through Celebrate Lit; a positive review was not required.


About Texas Twin Abduction (Cowboy Lawmen Book 1)

Texas Twin AbductionThis twin’s past is a blank…

And she might not have a future.

Waking up in a bullet-ridden car with a bag of cash and a deputy insisting she’s his ex-fiancée, Ashlee Taylor has no memory of what happened—or of Lawson Avery.

But with her twin missing and someone hunting her down, she must trust him with her life. Can Lawson save her and her sister—even as Ashlee’s forgotten secrets become an inescapable trap?

Get your copy of Texas Twin Abduction


About Virginia Vaughan

Virginia VaughanAward-winning author Virginia Vaughan was born and raised in Mississippi and has never strayed far from those borders. Blessed to come from a large, Southern family, her fondest memories include listening to stories recounted by family and friends around the large dinner table.

She was a lover of books even from a young age, devouring gothic romance novels and stories of romance, danger, and love. She soon started writing them herself. Connect with Virginia at virginiavaughanonline.com.


Virginia on Texas Twin Abduction

Thanks for joining me for a brand new adventure. Texas Twin Abduction is the first book in my new Cowboy Lawmen series and it’s a departure from what I normally write. I love writing about cops and serial killers so when my editor first suggested the cowboy/western theme, I was hesitant. I’m a city girl at heart so this was so far out of my comfort zone!

But I couldn’t resist for long. After all, who doesn’t love a cowboy? Thankfully, I found a way to merge what I loved—law enforcement, FBI, US Marshals—with the cowboy/family themed books my editor wanted to see by making my group of hero brothers a family of law enforcement types with ties to the family ranch. The best of both worlds. Score!

Book one in this new series, Texas Twin Abduction, begins with my hero, little brother Lawson Avery, in a quandary. All he ever wanted out of life was to run his family’s Texas ranch, but his ex-fiancée Ashlee’s final words to him as she skipped out on their wedding was that his desire for the simple life made him unambitious and unworthy of her love.

Her words broke him, sending him searching for something more meaningful to do with his life, eventually winding up as a deputy in the sheriff’s office. But, despite law enforcement being in his blood, Lawson finally realized that life wasn’t for him and made plans to return to the ranch.

However, his plans are sidetracked when he finds Ashlee unconscious on the side of the road in a bullet-ridden car with no memory of him or their past together. When it becomes clear that someone wants her dead, Lawson steps in to act as her protector. But will digging into the mysteries of her past cost him the future he still longs to have with her?

I hope you enjoy this book and this brand new series! Look for the next book—older brother US Marshal Miles Avery’s story—coming in Texas Holiday Hideout this October.


Texas Twin Abduction Giveaway

To celebrate her tour, Virginia is giving away the grand prize package of a $25 Barnes & Noble gift card and a copy of Texas Twin Abduction. Be sure to comment on the blog stops for nine extra entries into the giveaway. Click the link below to enter.



Blog Stops

Book Reviews From an Avid Reader, June 24

The Avid Reader, June 24

Bigreadersite, June 24

Inklings and notions, June 25

Debbie’s Dusty Deliberations, June 25

Older & Smarter?, June 26

Truth and Grace Homeschool Academy, June 26

For the Love of Literature, June 27

Reading Is My SuperPower, June 27

Texas Book-aholic, June 28

Simple Harvest Reads, June 28 (Guest Review from Mindy Houng)

Betti Mace, June 29

Genesis 5020, June 29

For Him and My Family, June 30

Hebrews 12 Endurance, June 30

Book Bites, Bee Stings, & Butterfly Kisses, June 30

KarenSueHadley, July 1

reviewingbooksplusmore, July 1

Blossoms and Blessings, July 2

deb’s Book Review, July 2

Through the Fire Blogs, July 3

Emily Yager, July 3

Pause for Tales, July 4

Hookmeinabook, July 4

Tell Tale Book Reviews, July 5

EmpowerMoms, July 5

Mary Hake, July 5

Hallie Reads, July 6

Godly Book Reivews, July 6

Because I said so — and other adventures in Parenting, July 7

A Good Book and Cup of Tea, July 7


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4 thoughts on “Overcoming the Lies We Tell Ourselves”

  1. Boy, I felt this post. I am constantly putting myself down, and you’re right! It is mainly due to my past.

    1. Aminata Coote

      I know exactly how you feel, Mya. My prayer for you is that God will give speak His truth into your spirit so you can overcome the lies you tell yourself.

    1. That is so true, Victoria. May God help us to replace the lies we tell ourselves with His truth.

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