How to Use the “Love Verses” As A Marriage Check-Up
If you’ve been married for any length of time, you’ve probably wondered about the health of your marriage. How do you know if things between you and hubby are going as expected? Is there something you should be doing that you’re not? How can you do a marriage check-up?
I want to share how the “love verses” are a great way to do a marriage check-up.
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The “Love Verses”
The love verses in 1 Corinthians 13 are a popular reading for weddings. Something about those verses makes people want to include them in their wedding ceremony. Maybe it’s because of how the words flow together in lyrical poetry. or maybe it’s because secretly we’re all hoping to have found that kind of love.
These verses reflect some of the best marriage advice found in the Bible, so let’s learn to use them as a form of check-up for our marriages.
The Marriage Check-Up
1 Corinthians 13 is known as the “love chapter”. We have read the words so many times and maybe we thought, “Ooh, I’m not doing that.” But let’s read in the context of the love we should show to our spouses.
As we use the verses of 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 as a marriage check-up, we’re really focusing on two things: our actions and the attitudes behind them. In order for this to be effective, you have to think about the questions and be honest as you answer them.
Ask the Holy Spirit to open your eyes so that you can see the true state of your marriage. It may help to journal your thoughts and what the Holy Spirit reveals so that you can review them at a later date and also provide something for you to have when you do your marriage check-up again.
- Are we patient with our spouse? Do we tolerate what we perceive to be their flaws?
- Are we always kind? It’s a sad fact of life that the people closest to us are often treated worse than those who see us outside the home.
- Do we love our spouse only for what we can get from them? Are we jealous of our spouses? Do we envy them their abilities or their jobs or their spiritual gifts or their…anything?
- Are we happy when something negative/bad happens to our spouse? Do we find joy in the missteps or misfortune of our spouse?
- Are we excited when something good happens to our partner? Are we happy because they are happy?
- Are we keeping track of all the “bad” things our spouse has done to us? Do we record every flaw, every mistake?
- Are we holding grudges against our spouse? Do we give freely of our trust, our hopes, our fears to our partner?
- Are we “flashy” with our affection? Meaning, do we show love so that we can be seen and admired by others?
- Do we do things for our spouse because it benefits us?
- Do our actions show love? Is the way that we treat our spouse the way we want to be treated?
- Are our words chosen with care and spoken with affection? Are we respectful of the other person?
- Are we selfish? Does our relationship serve only ourselves?
- How do we behave when we can’t have our way?
- Will our love stand the test of time? Can it withstand sickness, poverty, hardships, trials, pain?
- Are we building bridges, or tearing them down?
Marriage is one of the great gifts given to us by our Heavenly Father and it’s up to us to be good stewards of our relationship with our spouse.
Related: 6 Traits of a Godly Wife
Why Marriage Matters
God’s intent is for our relationships to model the one between Himself and mankind. He loves us not because of anything He can get from us, but simply because of who we are and because we are His.
If we loved each other (not only our spouses) with the kind of love God intends, we would be connected to each other and connected to God Himself.
Love needs to be that bridge that takes us out of ourselves into the other person’s reality.
Lord, I don’t always love as I should. I pray that You will give me a heart capable of loving as Christ did. Please give me a heart capable of selfless love. In Jesus’ name. Amen.
Which characteristic(s) of love do you find most difficult? Pray and ask God to help you improve in that area.
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